Unforgiveness | The Heart of Pride

 

Mark 11:25-26

 “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. “But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”

Forgiveness is a display of our surrender and trust in the Lord! Unforgiveness is often a family sin. We must be careful with unforgiveness because unforgiveness results in ungodly pride, self-righteousness, pride, bitterness, resentment, and self-pity.

Recognize that when you choose not to forgive, you are telling the offender:

I hold you accountable for not just what you did to me, but also for how I reacted and answered to it. You are to blame for my discontent and unhappiness. 

That is what you are declaring when you choose to not forgive!

Although you might be slow to admit it, this is often the hidden script operating in your heart and soul. But it’s a lie, plain and simple. Only you are responsible for your reactions and feelings. 

This blog post comes as a reflection of my previous post regarding family trauma, if I can go through what God has allowed me to go through and still walk in forgiveness. You are able to walk in forgiveness in your life. People's repentance for their transgressions against us would never make a wrong go away. Even if the offender does not apologize, we must let go of the hurt, pain, and memory to avoid becoming enslaved by our unforgiveness. It is a depressing way to live our lives to be chained to the prison of unforgiveness. Even if the abuser changes, the victim may continue to harbor resentment for the harm done to them, trapping themselves in the prison of unforgiveness. We can only be given the grace to really forgive by the power of the Holy Spirit. Forgiveness is agreeing to live with the repercussions of another person's sin," someone once stated. The price of forgiveness is one we must bear as believers. Keep in mind that once harm is felt, it becomes a memory. Unforgiveness is a scheme used by the enemy to keep our eyes focused on ourselves, thus making us miss out on that personal relationship with Jesus Christ who helps us forgive through the Holy Spirit.

The emotional connection to the memories and the anguish is broken by forgiveness. For relationships to flourish and be loving, memory health is essential. Although the recollection still exists, the force of the agony and hurt has diminished. Declare "I forgive...... as I have been forgiven" each time the recollection comes to mind. Forgiveness frees your mind from the other person's mental influence. It is a process, but the payoff is "memory with no pain" and the opportunity to extend forgiveness and compassion.